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MANNERISM AND BEHAVIOUR - Mrs. Brinda Jaisingh
 
As children grow up, especially once they past the age of being 3, they tend to be more independent and adventurous. When we are teaching them manners and behavior, we must always explain to them what are right and wrong and why is it so. Children have to be given these explanations because of their curious minds. Also one must not be too strict with our children. We must of course set boundaries for them within which they must behave.

While teaching them the right things, we must be flexible to a certain extent. Give them a choice of things that are right and the various ways in which they can do their tasks and behave well.


Moods and Mannerism in Children

Children are always in their happy world, content with their life and the things around them. But like aunts, at times even children suffer from mood swings and tend to get irate and angry. At many times, children behave moody and spoilt to test the limit of their parents. Some children, who feel that they do not get enough attention from their parents, throw temper tantrums as a means of attracting attention.


Methods to deal with children and their mood swings
The best way to deal with a moody or stubborn child is to create a distraction from the grieving or aggravating source. Even slightly variating the problem or situation may help improve the child's mood. At times measures like locking him up in a room may help. It must be clearly explained to the child that he is not being punished but his surroundings are just being changed to improve his mood. Shutting him up in a room gives both the mother and the child some time to themselves. Many a times when a child whines or cribs meaninglessly, it pays to turn a deaf ear and pretend that it never happened. Most probably after a while, the child will realize that he is having no effect on the parent and will ultimately give up whining and cribbing.


Bringing out the best in your child the age to learn
From the age of 3 to 6 a child's mind is extremely keen and receptive. It grasps in knowledge at a very fast pace and the child is very observant. At this age, if parents foster good behavior and thoughts in the child's mind, these habits and patterns will stick with the child throughout life.


Individual differences in children
What we must accept is that all children are different from one another and have different cognitive styles. Some are by nature aggressive and some tend to be shy, some are overbearing and dominating while some are timid and meek. What we must also accept is that the temperament of our child cannot be identical to that of our temperament. So we must not expect our child to be identical and behave in an identical manner as we do.


Individuality of our child
We must love our child and accept them for who they are. This does mean that we spoil them and give into all their whims and fancies. We must also hold expectations of them that are realistic and realize that just because they have a temperament that is different from the parents' temperament, this does mean that the child and parent are a mismatch. At this stage, the child needs all the stimulation he can get and joking, laughing and learning between the parent and child help in this process. We must also spend as much time we can with our child and address their various needs. You must build a sense of trust and attachment between the child and the parent.


Be a good parent .......
NURTURE STRENGTHS, LESSEN WEAKNESSES..........
Understand your child's needs and encourage your child to do what he or she enjoys doing. Do not force them into unnecessary hobbies and interests that they detest. At this age, your child will probably join school and learn to play with friends and interact with them. He will learn to play in groups and share his toys with others. Through this process of interaction he will realize that all people are not the same. The child will get drawn favorably towards some children while they tend to move away from others. While playing, the child will also come to learn many feelings and emotions that are within him. He will come to realize his own strengths and weaknesses. The parent must talk to their child and find out what his interests are and make an effort to promote them. We must cultivate new hobbies and interests in our child. Help him to understand that when children are playing with toys, each one of them must get an equal turn with the toy. Help inculcate feelings of co-operation in your child and teach him how to deal with frustration. Talk to your child and help him express himself to you. Be a role model. Set examples in your day to day life and at home, which you would like your child to follow. Do not give your child one set of instructions and then you yourself practice another. That will create a feeling of disparity and unfairness. And most importantly, give your child your love and support at all times.

 

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